I awakened the next morning with the sun beaming on me as if to try to slap some sense into me. I quickly got up, took another shower.  I guess some of  the greatest thoughts and soul searching have come from the shower but this morning there was not a thought on my mind. I was numb! I mean numb! I just stood there and let the water run on me without a thought of if it was too hot or too cold. I didn’t care, I just knew that a shower was needed and it was needed now.  I put on my Jet black DKNY jeans and my charcoal grey DKNY sweater. I don’t even care if I match today…Am I even alive today? I fix my hair, put on my shoes, turn on the television and sit on the bed and wait…and wait……and wait. There was a knock at the door after about two hours of sitting there. I get up and walk past the long mirror in the mini hallway before I opened the door. I could have sworn I saw my reflection laughing at me. Even my own shadow was busting a gut at my expense. Greg looked at me and gave me a kiss on the cheek and said “Hey, are you ready to go?” I turned and grabbed my bag and purse and surveyed the room one last time before I said an unfamiliar farewell to the place that could have held some very raunchy details but in reality was probably bored out of its mind because of the restless slumber that had been showcased the night before.  The drive seemed long although it was only twenty minutes. We stopped at my grandmother’s house because everyone in my family gathers there every Sunday for dinner. When we walked in the door (because on Sunday the door is never locked) my entire family greeted us with congratulations, hug, and kisses. See, I told my family before I left to get married. I thought it was a cause for celebration but I am slowly starting to figure out that not all people share the same feelings on that.  Greg and I fixed a plate a shared it. I was so quiet and I was hoping that he would sense it and ask me what was wrong, but I guess that now would not be a good time to just burst out in front of the family that our marriage has started going down the tubes already. After some light conversation, Greg nudged me and stated that we needed to go to his mother’s house to talk to her. I kissed my family goodbye; I grabbed my coat and put it over my arm. I didn’t put it on because I wanted the wind to somehow slap me into a state of frozen time.  As we started up the street to his mother’s home I felt my right hand grip the door of the car. “What am I doing?”  I tell myself. “I am grown!” So why am I feeling like someone put a huge boulder in my stomach and pushed me off of a bridge into a huge lake to drown.  Once we got inside, I could see his mother in the living room sitting in her lime green recliner looking at the television from the side door entrance. As we began to walk toward her, I spot, out of the corner of my eye on the right, his younger brother mike in his room towards the back of the house. He was ironing a shirt for his evening’s festivities. We move past his mother to sit on the couch in front of her. She glances hard at me first and then her eyes shift towards his. We have never gotten along since I started dating Greg. She felt as if I was making him settle down to one woman too quickly. Plus, I was of a different religious denomination as he was.  Now here I was in front of her to give her one more thing to put me at the top of her kill list. Greg leans forward to look into his mother’s eyes and says, “Mom, Rebecca and I got married yesterday”. “WHAT??!!!”  She says as she gets up from her throne of anger. Fire filled her eyes and quickly after that water filled them. I could see the look on her face she was mad and hurt at the same time. At that moment I hear a loud laugh which could have almost been mistaken for a cough from his brother. “You have done it now bro” said Mike.  “You have made it so that nothing that I do from now on could ever compare to the mess you have made, Thanks”.  His mother looks at both of us and says, “The damage is done now so we might as well make the best of it”.  Greg leans over to me and asks if he can drop me off at home and spend some time with his mother alone. He says that he will spend one last night with his mom and promised me that we will no longer be apart after that. I get up and realize that this was actually happening. This was for real. I say good bye to his mom, while he says to her he will be right back. I get in the car and Greg starts talking about how the conversation didn’t go as bad as he thought it was going to be and how his brother was going to tease him about this for a long time. After a couple of minutes of hearing him talk I totally tuned him out. The sounds coming from him sounded like the teacher from the Charlie Brown cartoons. I was trying to focus on what was happening. I was trying to center myself (if that was even possible). What have I gotten myself into? When did loving someone get so complicated?  When I got into the house, I didn’t even turn on the lights. I just sat in the living room on the floor.  I had never tried meditation but I needed it right now. Everything is going to be okay, is what I tell myself. I guess I had been reading too many romance novels or looked at too many sappy movies. Either way this was definitely not the phase of the night in shining armor riding on his white horse to come and carry me away. I needed something to carry me away alright, and with that my dreams carried me to a euphoric coma like state.